Review

Band: Chris Caffery

Album: Pins and Needles

Reviewer: Jeff

I really try to not write bash reviews, because I can't stand it when people give horrible ratings to decent things just because they have a stick up their ass, but I really cannot hold back, mainly because there are no reviews of this album yet and I feel people should be warned.

For those of you don't know (and shame on you), Chris Caffery is most known as Savatage's guitarist (1987-1990, 1995 - 2002) and also has played with Trans-Siberian Orchestra for many years with his fellow Savatage brothers in arms. Chris is a very accomplished musician and an excellent guitarist, and when he seemingly feels like, he is also a very good songwriter and solid vocalist. His first full-length solo effort, "Faces" was a very diverse and experimental yet very good and original album, which I quite enjoyed.

However, almost none of what I just said applies to Pins and Needles. This CD is a number of horribly bad aspects just rolled into one. First off, let's talk about the songwriting. It sounds like Chris wrote this album in about 3 days, as most of the songs are extremely uncreative, and about 85% all in the exact same style. The style can best be described as wanna-be Nu-Metal. Yes, that's right, meaning at times it's worse than nu-metal. The guitars are tuned down, and they sound god-awful in most parts, not to mention the absolute onslaught of pointless instrument and vocal effects. Lyrically, Chris has been known to do a lot of bitching and complaining... from his personal life to current affairs in the world. However, this disk's lyrics tend to take things from their normal level to just plain whining and yelling about nonsense. Most of the songs I just found myself wanting to slap him and go: "Just shut up already".

You can clearly see why this album sucks a big one throughout the majority of it's (far too long) duration. There's a problem when you write an album with 15 tracks and 10 of them blow chunks. Now what about these other 5 tracks? Well, "Chained" is actually a good bit of traditional metal fun, and "The Time" manages to be very good and catchy for about half of it's time. The next two decent cuts are an instrumental (In the Midst), and an intro track of sorts (Quaaludio). The second one of these is actually probably the best minute and a half of this entire album, as the 12-string acoustic guitar and Chris' seriously deep vocals and lyrics make for an excellent combination, which quickly leads into nothingness in "The Temple". Lastly, we have the closer of the non-bonus track version: "Once Upon a Time", which is without a doubt the best full length song on this disk, simply because it's a ballad, and I've yet to hear one of those fucked up by nu-metal guitars and pointless instrumental and vocal effects.

For those of you lucky enough to get the version of this album with bonus tracks, you can increase my rating to about 38% instead of 30. The two bonus tracks are more or less simply alternate versions. First we have "Pisses Me Off (2007)" which is a (mostly) fresh list of things pissing Chris off, which though being quite a bit of fun falls short of the magic of it's predecessor. Lastly we have an alternate version of "The Time", which is about the same quality as the original, so it's actually good at times.

So, in conclusion, if you like Savatage, this album is probably not for you. If you like Trans-Siberian Orchestra, this album is probably not for you. If you like Doctor Butcher, this album is probably not for you, and if you liked Chris' solo work prior to this, this album is, you guessed it - probably not for you. However, if you are looking to expand your modern garbage metal collection, this album just might be for you!

Jeff's Rating: 38%